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S​/​T Cassette

by Melchior

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1.
One 04:02
if you told me i'd be this way / i'm certain i wouldn't still be here / i feel like i shouldn't have survived / it's an achievement year after year / i don't how i make it out of bed / half the time i don't know / if i can make it / out of my head // and i still hear the words of my father / and i still feel my mothers palm / and i still remember that night / it must've made your heart break // and i guess / i feel like / virginia woolf / when she said / "i feel certain that i'm going mad again / i feel like we can't go through / another of these terrible times / and i shan't recover this time" // and i've cried so many nights / and i've took so many pills / i've deprived myself of life / and i've skipped so many meals / but i'm trying hard each day / even if it's the least i can do / even when i can't get up / i'm still trying to make it through //
2.
this life is / cold and empty / and i have nowhere to go / 'cause it wasn't built for me / the structure / holding it together / is rickety / and buckling / and shedding debris // and i can't find my way out / and i can't break free / and so i'll let it fall / and entomb me / and i can't find my way out / and i can't even breathe / so i'll let it fall / and be buried // but the picture is bigger / and i can't describe the trigger / even though i don't need the liquor / i still need the courage and vigor //
3.
i'm standing / under boiling water / so i can burn / your fucking fingerprints / off of my skin / my body is raw / my body is blistered / and what is your excuse? / your childhood / was different to mine? / you had it harder? // so you get to treat me badly? / that isn't how / life fucking works / you don't get to beat me down / and then tell me to stop / being so hard on myself / while your voice is bludgeoning / my head / against these walls / stop telling me / i'm not good enough / for anyone else // i would love to / destroy / the idea of you // i hope you / will suffer / the way / i have suffered //
4.
first of all / your views are problematic / and your ideals / are fucking dogmatic / to cancel out a gender / is fucking pathetic / don't act like this scene / is fair and diplomatic // you cannot grow / you cannot advance / when your brain / is in your fucking pants / this is me / calling you out / i'm so sick of sexists / and woman haters / the abusers / and the rapists // i want your existence / to be replaced with / people who create / safer spaces / i'm so fucking tired / i'm not dealing with it / if you ever touch her / i hope she snaps your wrist / we shouldn't have to walk with / keys clenched in our fists / if you want to hurt a girl / you should not exist / and if you ever have / i promise you wont be missed // you cannot grow / you cannot advance / when your brain / is in your fucking pants / this is me calling you out / i'm so sick of sexists / and woman haters / the abusers / and the rapists //
5.
am i awake? / am i alive? / these lids are heavy over my bloodshot eyes / these drugs make my mouth so dry / these thoughts make me want to die // i'm worthless / i'm so worthless / i'm sorry that i'm like this // these terms of endearment are fears of disapointment / and i've lost years to this disease / this disease no one can see //

credits

released December 9, 2014

Recorded/mixed/mastered by Marcel Cuthbertson @ Blast Furnace Studios
www.facebook.com/blastfurnace.adelaide?fref=ts
Released on cassette limited to 60 through Lethal Dose Records
www.facebook.com/themostlethaldose?fref=ts

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Melchior Adelaide, Australia

Tash - Vocals
Travis - Bass
Shoshana - Guitar
Tim - Guitar
Levi - Drums

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